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Welcome to our 54th ERBParodies!
Justin Buckner as Otzi the Iceman
Miss4yo as Queen Elsa
LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
QUEEN ELSA
VS
OTZI
BEGIN!
Otzi:
Straight from the Similaun its the abominable Ötzi
Here to diss the deuteragonist of an overhyped movie!
This aint Halloween nor Christmas, but here's a run for your money
I've combined the two, you see, I'm an icecold mummy!
Don’t mess with a Neanderthal
This here is your sequel and it won’t end happy after all!
So gather your Anna, Hans, Kristoff, and a Sven?
to watch me melt the ice witch of Hans Christian Andersen
I’m a warrior, strong as the mountain I roadblock
You’re a moody marshmallow as soft as Olaf
I’m strapped with a longbow, so if you try to diss me
There’ll only be 12 more whores left in Disney
Elsa:
Chill, Bear Grylls, I'll show you a predator.
Got a high temper, but too low of a temperature!
So, pass the mic, or catch a blast of ice!
Get lost on a hike? Get sacrificed!
You wish to skirmish? you'll lose your epidermis, you mummy!
'cause I'll whip you worse than that worm in your tummy!
Once Upon a Time, Scrooge McGruff lost his brush,
And got stuck in a gully when the Queen lost her glove!
Otzi:
Its not called singing when you belt and scream
you’re even more of a mistake than Adele Dazeem
Quit your sellout schemes, think of what your fans would say to ya
if they knew my country pities those in Scandanavia
I’ll thaw your ass with a Copper Axe
Lets watch you rap when your talking rocks are smashed
While you’re painting your nails and you’re swinging your purse,
I’m the pharaoh of the snow, do your worst and get cursed!
For the First Time in Forever I’ll be the Freeze-er
Your rhymes aren’t sick, you just have Frozen Fever!
With hammering cold disses, I’m best in the game
and your kingdom’s going south into incestuous reign
You're a danger to yourself, so neglected, defected
Cross my territory, you’re getting’ shipwrecked, kid
So while I stay Frozen, your throne will grow rotten
Time turned me Golden, it’ll turn you forgotten
Elsa:
The snow glows among the whitest of hues.
For a Queen to fight would be strictly taboo.
But when I'm through, you're gonna need a couple more tattoos!
'Cause I handcrafted the kingdom that killed you!
Sheathe your shaft and your ashy handles!
or I'll turn 'Fritz' into Frozen Fractals!
Return to your minute museum and leave my Palace
or I'll have to re-shatter your phallus!
I've been blessed with the power to freeze!
you've only been blessed to eternally sneeze!
I bet the Ice man once had rhymes much colder...
but then he took an arrow in the shoulder!
I’m not the good girl I used to know.
And you’re no hero, no skin, just bones.
To avoid a cliffhanger in Ötzal’s snow,
Accept your fate and let it go.
- Genre
- Otzi