published on
Challenges accepted:
Vocals - (double time - Zolt Energy Serum)
Producer - (no snares in the beat - The Bear Hammock 29-F)
Game genre: Dating Sim
Screen: The Final Encounter
V: Oh, here we have it, the final encounter. This is a tough one, to be sure. Many have tried, all have failed so far, but maybe this is the one.
A: It's a challenge, for sure, but we have a challenger.
V: Oh, a true player. Let's see how it goes.
A: Round one. Shoot your shot!
I'm the final boss of the dating sim.
There's no way to win, 'cause I can't take a hint.
You're gonna fail and then you'll wanna play again
Your loss, take it in, let the games begin.
I've got all my defenses up,
all tensed up and my comprehension tends to suck.
Try to bend your luck with charms and methods of
seduction, but we all know where you're ending up.
Zone of friendship? What? No, twit, that's a prize.
You're going home alone. Big fat surprise.
Like Macaulay Culkin, without supplies.
Always sulking, rip out your eyes
if you don't wanna see the blank stare on my face
as I dismiss your compliments as having terrible taste.
I've had my fair share of dates, so I'm set, except
I only found out in retrospect. (That's what that was?)
V: Oh, you hate to see it, folks. Striking out in the first round.
A: Well, let's see if there's any bouncing back from this.
V: It is not looking too good right now, but it ain't over yet.
A: Round two. Make your move!
You know you'll be ill at ease, I don't show
vulnerabilities. You've honed your skills, increased
your ammo as sociable charmer,
but cupid's arrows ricochet off my emotional armor.
And my heart doesn't glow, so it's harder to get to.
You try to connect, I'm just not gonna let you.
With all the respect due, every romance Lothario
measures on a scale from no chance to very low,
no matter the scenario, even with careful listening,
say you're getting hot, I'll hit the air conditioning.
It's not your whispering nor a matter of discipline.
I simply miss the gist of what it is you're propositioning.
Not a single inkling. I just stare into space,
unaware of infatuation you wear on your face.
I've had my fair share of dates and before I left
there wasn't one who wasn't bored to death.
V: Ooooh! That's gotta hurt! Advances went right over the head *and* were countered with absolute tedium.
A: This is a disaster, folks, and after so many successes.
V: Well, there is one more round, so maybe not all is lost.
A: Round three. Date!
I'm like talking to a brick wall,
mindless conversations.
A human bottle of rohypnol,
minus connotations
When we're walking through a strip mall,
I'll exhaust your patience.
What I'm saying's I'm an awful date,
and you're gonna wanna escape from the jaws of fate
before it all too late. They're already agape,
frothing and starting to oscillate.
Being my lawful mate is not so great,
like a box of defrosted flakes.
To get dad jokes like that for the rest of your life
put me in a dress that is white and address me as wife.
I've had my fair share of dates on repeat, the same
every time 'cause no one's beat the game.
A: Oh no, I think that's game over, folks.
V: It sure is. The only way to move forward now is to start over from the last checkpoint at the beginning of the encounter.
A: Press any key before the end of the countdown. 3...2...1...