Maybeitsbecauseimnoone (Ed Scissor - Please Say Something Freeverse) by newdist published on 2024-02-03T01:38:36Z the main grievance of mortality is thinkin you immortal unable to grasp the concept of passin to corporeal ethereal whimsy like a racket tempting fate emptying plates in a conveyor fashion breaks become normal, embrace lost in the age age lost to the memory, slated non-promises you shake unknowingly, lack of care and piss becomes ovaltine worried you're a burden still burdening the people you love. unknowingly. unknowingly. i can't imagine how you're thinking, im foraging the trees for more than there is. when you smell like a fridge left open during a power outage or a crypt, i view you from a distance so out of it how can something in my home feel so distant? your will to live unbreaking like a piston keeping you going, keeping your heart open but your ears become closed overtime type of shit i feel the guilt of postin online even in private, posted in line like a private awaiting orders from a drunken lieutenant thinkin you got wisdom left yet the roulette landed on black, when every instance i think heart attack but thats just your normal decorum, i lack the diction to communicate how i truly feel type of moments that play back in my head like a cinema reel im skimmin the real to cope a bit more, hope recently been making me so sore- i drink as a destressor smoke as a destressor hate the fact one day youll be a photo in the dresser when a prideful human lives long enough to see her daughter undress her i dont think im good enough to be the successor, at my leisure giving into vice, i fear i never truly intook advice not that you'd remember. im the center of attention in a picture uncentered. and i try to be unbending, but i still break because i feel the breaking point of the saints i view above me succumbing to emotion and thinkin im stupider for it. i have unprocessed traumas, but it seems the stress is unending i view myself as lesser compared to the family yet i know i'm an equal, i have a weak will that keeps me on the edge and i dont know how to deal with losing someone that kept me on that ledge the impermanence of a broken promise that recovery is ensured when you know it wont get better til the hearse for once i dont think im being cynical, that scares me, these thoughts are seemingly cyclical pivotal to a turning point that im not sure of quite yet, never needed acid for an ego death, you truly only need real death. the biggest building jump of all time is losing your breath as a message sent telling you your friend aint here. or having selfish sexual pleasure ruined because of a feline friend. i cant stomach looking into the mirror, im haunted by ghosts haunted by quotes of things ive said, or the imagery of mangakas enjoyed by my ex. keep saying i need therapy but cant bring myself to extend my hand out to a helping hand. maybe i dont want to put those things to rest. maybe im haunted by the doctors who told me everything in my head was pretend im a broken human looking for anything at all thats left, i grow more callous and apathetic as empathy overtakes and i feel so stupid about the stuff that aches id rather talk about others problems before my own id rather talk you out of suicide from a phone than address the fact i feel so alone or the fact that suicide sounds like a homophone of any distinct vocabulary you could utter. ive always sought out a someone, and i think i have that someone then how come i always feel i have nothing maybeitsbecauseimnoone Genre Hip-hop & Rap Comment by Icosagon holy shit 2024-02-03T02:24:48Z