Jim Morrison famously once said that "Film spectators are quiet vampires." We sit in the dark with our lips sealed, silently passing judgment on the rigorous artistic process of actors, directors, and technical professionals, as if we could do a better job ourselves. Criticism is the sincerest form of flattery, no? That might not be the expression.
While the criticism of great film can be an enlightening endeavor, the criticism of terrible film can be just as rewarding, and, in my opinion, is the highest form of public service. Not to diminish the efforts of police, doctors, and firefighters, but if not for my cohorts and sometimes myself, the world would likely be exposed to an endless onslaught of Nicholas Cage, an ocean of Twilight sequels, and a bottomless reservoir of grotesque monster mash-ups. I think a thank-you is in order, but not necessary, for we do it with pleasure.
Allow me to introduce myself and my fellow quiet vampires: Myself (Colin Fleming), Christian Pelfrey, and Miles George. This being our inaugural submission for what we've aptly titled "Well...That Sucked", we would like to take a moment to inform you, the listener, on what we're all about.
The brainchild of a very member of our ranks, Mr. Pelfrey, this podcast will explore, analyze, and critique some of the worst films to grace the silver screen. If you're looking for artistic enlightenment, you've come to the wrong place. If it's cinematic depth and existentialism you seek, there's the door. This medium answers to a higher calling: that of the B-list; nay, the C-list, and we intend to answer that call with honesty, integrity, and plenty of potty language.
For this, our first post, we've decided to take a look at what is surely a fantastic piece of garbage: G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra. As this is our flagship recording, we ask you to bare with us and with our obvious learning curve. Just as age comes with beauty, precision comes with time, and we plan on perfecting our craft as we progress. The audio quality isn't top-notch yet, and at times we ramble (sometimes screaming obscenities with the conviction of a Tourettes victim), but we promise that your patience will be greatly rewarded. Enjoy, and as always, grace us with your feedback!
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