THE LEGEND OF EL OSO BLANCO by RobJenners published on 2013-05-23T18:33:04Z The complete story of the legend of Evan Gattis, "El Oso Blanco". Genre sports Comment by brandonfsmith8 He sleeps with a night light; not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him....... 2013-06-08T04:10:15Z Comment by user648667688 He lives vicariously through himself. 2013-06-06T04:16:28Z Comment by user648667688 The police often question him just because they find the white bear interesting 2013-06-06T04:13:17Z Comment by user648667688 His charm is so contagious vaccines have been created for it! 2013-06-06T04:12:15Z Comment by user648667688 He once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels 2013-06-06T04:05:50Z Comment by user648667688 his reputation is expanding faster than the universe 2013-06-06T03:57:41Z Comment by user648667688 He can speak french in russian 2013-06-06T03:56:44Z Comment by user648667688 His organ donation card also lists his beard 2013-06-06T03:55:38Z Comment by user648667688 Even his enemies list him as his emergency contact number 2013-06-06T03:53:29Z Comment by user648667688 His personality is so magnetic he is unable to carry credit cards 2013-06-06T03:52:42Z Comment by user648667688 His blood smells like cologne 2013-06-06T03:51:24Z Comment by user648667688 His beard alone had experienced more than a lesser man's entire body! 2013-06-06T03:50:54Z Comment by user648667688 When it is raining it is because he is thinking about something sad. 2013-06-06T03:46:00Z Comment by user648667688 His legend preceeds him the way lightning does thunder! 2013-06-06T03:45:24Z Comment by user648667688 If he were to give you directions you would never get lost and you would arrive at least 5 minutes early 2013-06-06T03:39:36Z Comment by user648667688 Mosquitos refuse to bite him simply out of respect. 2013-06-06T03:33:20Z Comment by PsychoBob11 I second what blackdominoes said. To be that cool for even a nanosecond!! 2013-06-02T18:00:03Z Comment by John Crosby for only one second of my life i want to be as epic as el oso blanco 2013-05-31T00:16:27Z Comment by Anthony Tran 32 "He doesn't turn on a shower . He looks at it until it cries ." 2013-05-25T08:37:51Z Comment by Joey Gawrysiak #Gattis4HRDerby 2013-05-24T15:20:31Z