I think mental illness is getting to me because I would literally eat a live spider right now. Probably would be crunchy and juicy. (help)
-------------------------------------I almost died the day before yesterday: I hallucinated and walked into oncoming traffic ๐๐ Iโm okay btw lol
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Btw Iโm grounded ๐๐ฟ
-------------------------------------Relapsed again today. Also,
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TLDR; Voice in my head fuckinโ abandoned me, and Iโm having a mental breakdown over it ๐ฟ๐ also, I relapsed -------------------------------------THEY KEEP MISGENDERING ME RAAAAAAH FUCKKK ๐๐๐ช๐ช๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ I CANT FUCKING DO THISS ๐ฉธ๐ฉธ๐ฉธ๐ฅ๐ฅ
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YOKUNE RUKO SUPREMACY RAHHHHHH ๐๐๐
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I hate my family so much ๐ฅฐ๐ฉทโ๏ธ
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Side note but where do people get vapes (illegally ofc๐ฅฐโจ) ? (Asking for a friend [even though I donโt have any friends!!])
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Going to hell ๐
โจ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ
โค๏ธ๐งก๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉต๐๐ค๐๐ฉต
#hailsatan ๐ฉ๐๐ฅ๐๐โจ
#AlphabetMafia๐
๐ฉท๐ค๐๐ค๐
๐๐ค๐๐ค
๐ฉท๐งก๐๐๐
๐๐ฉถ๐ค๐ฉถ๐
๐๐ฉถ๐ค๐ฉถ๐
Gender orientation: Genderfluid
Sexual and romantic orientation: Panflux
Allo, Ace, Aro?: Greyromantic & Greysexual (Greyrose)
Prefered pronouns: he/they
Hope youโre doing well. ๐ฅจ๐
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TW: Venting (if you donโt want to hear about it, you can click out of my profile now /pos), Su1c1d4l thoughts
In all honesty, I donโt really want to be here anymore. People are just such huge, flaming piles of dogshit, everywhere I look. The amount of scummy people outweigh any decent ones. Itโs just really disheartening that almost every person I meet is a horrible piece of garbage.
Plus I donโt know if therapy will fix it (I donโt think Iโm comfortable with disclosing exactly what โitโ is because like I said some people are trash and I canโt deal with people potentially using that against me/exploiting my weaknesses) and if I canโt fix it.. โฆ
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Well.. thereโd be no point in living. I canโt live like this forever, and Iโm scared that Iโll never be able to exist like a regular person. I just want to be able to feel like a person, I donโt want to feel indescribable anxiety from people *looking* at me, I donโt want to let you exploit and manipulate me, taking everything that I have, making me feel like Iโll never have anything thatโs just *mine*, I donโt want to feel like some sort of puppet, and I donโt want you to treat me like one, I donโt want to have to suppress and hide my likes, interests, dislikes, fears, or pain because Iโm scared that youโll just mock me, and I donโt like that my anxieties and worries are valid, because you do do this, and I wish it was just in my head, needless worrying, but itโs not.. and youโve proved that time and time again, and Iโm just sick of it. And if.. if it comes to that.. itโs just.. unfair. You get to live on as if nothing happened, without a care in the world. You might not even remember what you did, how badly you screwed with my head, how much you screwed me over, and I may never be able to speak about it, to move on, to get rid of this constant agony. It sticks with me. Itโs ๐๐ก๐ง๐ช๐๐ก๐๐ into my very ๐๐๐๐ก๐. This isnโt something I can just move on from. Not like this. Not when Iโm in this state.
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Thereโs still more. So, so, ๐จ๐ค much more. But I already feel bad about dumping this on you. Im sorry, I just canโt get this out at therapy, no matter how hard I try to. I.. I just, just ๐๐๐ฃโ๐ฉ. It jams in my throat and I pretend to be fine, lying through my teeth, pushing it all down.
Soo Iโm Sorry. I hope you donโt think of me differently or anything.