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A song I wrote dedicated to Clint McElroy and his amazing character Merle from The Adventure Zone. This song is ever so slightly explicit and not at all spoiler free, so please listen with discretion.
The owl is an illustration done by John Pusateri.
Lyrics below:
A long long time ago,
In a village on the shore,
A young dwarf boy grew up
Not knowing what he was for
One day he got fed up,
With living groundhogs day,
So he left for an adventure
And now he’s here to say:
I’m your friend, the good plant cleric,
A worshiper of Pan.
A real cool guy, who’s four-ish feet tall,
With a missing eye and hand,
I’ll make your plants grow to the sun,
And preach the good word to your youth.
And if you try to cross me,
I’ll cast my Zone of Truth!
So I mentioned my missing arm,
Well, it’s not some cool pirate gig
God lied, I almost died,
So now I have this arm of twigs.
And my eye, well let me tell you.
I lost that for a disembodied head.
His name was Cam, but he’s gone now.
And by that I mean he’s dead.
Spoken: Man… we get into some weird shit, don’t we?
I’m your friend, the good plant cleric,
A worshiper of Pan.
A real cool guy, who’s four-ish feet tall,
With a missing eye and hand,
I’ll make your plants grow to the sun,
And preach the good word to your youth.
And if you try to cross me,
I’ll cast my Zone of Truth!
Sometimes I feel like a loser.
A failed cleric and terrible dad.
The gods don’t even answer my calls
Theres no sign of hope to be had.
I’m out of my depths, out of my league
An 8 year old kid is smarter than me,
But lately, these boys that im traveling with
Have started to feel like my new family…
I’m your friend, the good plant cleric,
A worshiper of Pan.
A real cool guy, who’s four-ish feet tall,
With a missing eye and hand,
I’m finding my place in the world,
As tricky as that may be,
And one thing I know is always true,
She thinks my tractor is sexy!
- Genre
- Filk