Junders by ForceofPhil published on 2022-01-10T22:06:44Z Magic: The Gathering parody rap of "Wiley Flow" by Stormzy. Lyrics: Bruh, I didn’t look at it this way before, But when I stopped castin' brainstorm I realized all you players are Junders You’re a bunch of junders, bruh Two for ones and top decks Green Sun’s Zenith prospects Well… If you don’t cast thoughtseize turn one Then I don’t wanna hear no chat bout blunders You players are Junders Lillies and bobs and oozes Tarmogoyf bruises Kolaghan’s command chooses Discard, shatter, or twofers Disentomb endurance Punishing fire loopin’ You losin’ Hymnin' to Tourach So we playin’ off the top Cascadin’ goes for broke Blighting gonna hit you with the smoke These braids are flappin’ off their blood Tap four, we castin’ Dracula Collect another trophy Assassinate ya When we play enchantress We back to nature Pay eight life you fuckin’ coward Flex ya grip like it’s full of power Forget the student debt you’re rackin’ Math’s for losers just keep attacking’ Who cares if uro blanks your deck We’re in too deep to course correct We’re summer veiled, we’ll cling to dust Curse the cabal The way Lily does Bruhhh I don’t know if you understand what I’m sayin’ yet But if you ain’t castin’ brainstorm then you just gotta keep the pressure on ‘em Jund will fuck up DnT Wrath the board; Pernious deed, They’ll rebuild while we’re engineering Explosive POW — silent clearing But please don’t try to go recruitin’ Last hope’ll smack it and abuse it This is madness — fatal push Commit war crimes; George W. Bush Bruuhhhh I get it all the good cards are in blue And Murktide is a fucking beating But if you don’t cast throughtseize turn one, Then I don’t wanna hear no qualms about dragons Go pyroblastin’ Fuck escaping’ uro Dumb play patterns Surgical extraction Calls games like John Maddan Touch actin’ tenactin’ Now we gaining some traction By dashin’ in Ragavan the GOAT Castin cards off their deck And if they be playin’ blue Then they’ll show us some respect We used to play the cards That traded 1-for-1 But then changed the bar And that was undone And now the black cards Are unplayable But we Jund so hard We’re unassailable.