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Introduction in English:
On a Saturday, 9 June 1989, I receive a phone call from my mother at around 6 am. She seems to be laughing. But as it soon turns out, tears are bursting out of her. At first she can only say one sentence: "Your father is dead". Then her voice fails. I, who has just been roused from my sleep by the ringing, at first think it's a bad joke. My father, not even 55 years old, dead, who had been so full of energy in the last few months? With whom I had spoken lively on the phone just a week ago?
Then my eldest sister comes to the phone. She speaks like a robot, as if she has frozen all her feelings inside herself.
She confirms the sudden death of my father from a heart attack and urges me to come immediately from Berlin to southern Germany (800 kilometres away).
Much of what happened after that - from the last encounter with my father in the morgue, to the years of vacillating between feelings of liberation and sometimes massively frightening "I'll bring you to me in the realm of the dead" nightmares after his funeral, to finding a deeper inner peace with him in the last few years - I wrote down and sang about in the following song "My Father in Heaven".
However, the song lyrics are not chronological, but set in 2011, in which I am all alone on a beautiful summer day in the cemetery where my father's grave is located. From this day I start a retrospective and an outlook.
Lyrics:
My Father in Heaven
What a beautiful day
All alone in the graveyard
Come to visit you
Without a grudge
It's unbelievably quiet
Hear the dead deep asleep
In an beyond harbour
Be with you soon
I hated you sometimes
Had you so gladly touched,
You're gone too soon
Left me alone with the dirt
Of this life.
Wanted to tell you so much more
You can't sneak away like that
A moment ago you were still there
I felt quite close to you,
Now only
A cold hand in the morgue
Nothing more moves
My father in heaven,
I miss you very much,
With wistfulness my heart sometimes
Becomes so heavy
When you were suddenly dead
Many things seemed easier,
I moved forward in life,
I looked free
but when I slept at night,
you'd come into my dreams,
trying to pull me over,
to the land beyond.
You didn’t let me go for so long
Lying like a black mourning box
On my chest and belly,
Felt like I was in a tube
Trapped by you.
Often couldn’t defend myself
Felt completely without power
When in the deep of the night
you came to my room,
without a body,
pure soul contact,
worlds still unknown to me.
Father in heaven,
do you hear me now,
I speak to you in peace,
I am no longer hurt.
Your grave is newly decorated,
I've picked a bouquet for you,
I sit down with you,
I surrender tot he silence
peaceful silence.
I am here now, you there
even if the wall separates us,
we see each other invisibly,
You always stay close to me,
I'll go on now,
Stay here,
I'll be back soon
Father in heaven
I think of you often
You are indispensable,
Come with me....
- Genre
- Ballad #Ambient #Psychedelic #Singer-Songwriter