Can't I Live?

Recorded at High Command by Captain Tripps Ballsington in Olympia, WA, 2013. Released by M'lady's Records as MLR 044

CAN'T I LIVE? lyrics

OUTSIDE IN
wrapped up in a weirdo web of distraction and disconnection
suspended in a copy of a copy of a copy of a
burial on a parallel plane with all the form and none of the content
not content to rot inside my generation's simulacrum

get me out of this body
get me out of this world
get me out of this life
get me out of this hole

shredding all my brain waves waving bye to voids they turn away from
easy easing edges off in states of liminal engagement
please relieve me of my ills with spectacle and entertainment
change the channel on my pangs, iBleed red 40 on the lunar cycle

get me out of this body
get me out of this world
get me out of this life
get me out of this hole

i wanna swallow the sea
and for the earth to swallow me

-------------

LEAVE ME ALONE
(can't i live?)

i don't wanna tell you my name
i don't wanna tell you my age
don't wanna tell you where i'm going
and i don't wanna fuckin' smile

you don't know what you're doing!
you don't know what you're saying!

i don't wanna have to act nice
i don't wanna hear your advice
hate the feeling of your eyes
hate worse i'm taught to be polite

you don't know what you're doing!
you don't know what you're saying!

leave me alone
don't waste my time
or my space
can't you see
i'm a human being
don't know what you are, man
you're not showing me

tell me, who do you think you are
and who are you deep inside
are you a human being
can't you see that i'm one too

you don't know what you're doing!
you don't know what you're saying!
leave me alone!

------------------

NOW I SEE
searchin' the streets for a familiar face
feel so ill and outta place
double-edge of being alone
got me all slashed up nowhere to go

now i see what i have lost

memories they haunt at night
i don't know just what is right
only an illusion craved?
silver spoon i dig my grave

now i see what i have lost

i'm lost

PSYCHIC DRAIN
high five, the world's your oyster
you're forever 21
you're just a psychic drain
toxic vibe corrodes my brain

close quarters with a...
psychic drain
spoiled brat
black hole!

noise pollution when you speak
spills out whining and mean things
done my best, make no mistake
no high road for me to take

close quarters with a...
psychic drain
spoiled brat
black hole!

---------------------

PLEASE SIR (I WANT SOME MORE)
lean in close, you've got that look in your eye
could it be true? oh how lucky am i
assess me now, let me know myself
does my expression satisfy?

words well up in your mouth
time's ripe to impart
that weight in your jeans is just too much to haul
and the loudest voice makes the wisest man

please sir
bestow upon me
your invaluable gifts
the world
as it is through your eyes

my lenses clouded by the thing that i am
cleanse me with knowledge and perspective
your opinion descends in splendor and grace
will you let me raise my eyes to your face

praise be, for i am not worthy
pay my respects in a way you see fit
but when all is said and done
i still got a few things to beg

and god give me strength to lead you not into temptation
and god give me strength to keep you a good man
please sir
give me your blessing

--------------

NO VISION
neuroses like a house of cards
piled high, falls twice as hard
black hole out ahead of me
staring down the barrel of the future
change overnight leaves me cold...
friends drop or burn out
i feel like i'm getting--

i got no vision
i got no vision
i got no vision
i got no vision

i don't want to work all day
spend myself so i can pay
things i love losing their shine
dull and fucking normal all the time.
not so bad here all alone
i follow me wherever i go
but it don't feel like anywhere's home.