counting problems, not the sheep

“counting problems, not the sheep”

I can’t think straight and I can’t sleep
Demons give me bait and I take it cuz I’m fuvking weak
Staring at the ceiling laying in a heap
Counting problems, not the sheep
Pillow wet from when I weep
See the pain but just a peek
Leaping off the Zakim see the city for the last time
Never speaking panic coming and going from my mind
Put me in the morgue, slice me open like a fucking lime
Now you see inside, I’m not even worth a fucking dime
Not proud who I’ve become
Smoking loud and feel so numb
Crumb is purple like a plum
Ask me how I’m doing, putting down my thumb
Feeling like a bum, kick the bucket like it’s chum, grabbing the gun, now my life is done
I miss the person I was before
Every time I hit the weed its not enough I want some more
I’d be puking on the floor, wishing that I was corpse
Panic coming in fucking waves and now it’s crashing on the shore so I close the door

Don’t wanna but I’m pushing you away
Driving off and now I’m fucking filled w shame
Cry to me and say youre hating when I’m putting on a face
I can’t help but when it keep raining on my brain
No umbrella keeping me shelter from my pain
Stuck in a rut so I keep on making beats
Nicotine brainrush while I’m turning up the heat of my apartment I’m slowly getting used to the flames of hell
It’s like I’m buried in a coffin rotting and the cig is all I smell
Years and years of therapy
Will it ever help this isn’t who I wanna be
I just wanna sleep but even then it’s a blur between reality
The nightmares life-like and they messing up the psych of me

Produced by oceanash