DOGE by Ghost Malone

***LYRICS***
Check my email—still not paid,
Just a note from DOGE: “You got laid—
Off.” It's fine, it’s okay,
I never worked anyway,

Still got Grandpa’s social security.
Yeah, he’s spent, but the money stays,
Two hundred years left—oh shit, wait.
BigBalls is balls deep on my case,

They had to stop that gravy train,
But Donny’s still gotta get paid.

Pols get blown while we get boned,
Forget school lunch and student loans.
Hope you can still feed your kids,
Because we gotta own those libs.

So I took off to Yellowstone,
But when I got there no one was home.
Went to Texas, got deported,
Had to sneak back across the border.

Tried to head to Europe instead,
But then I heard they’re all dead.
Goodbye Ukraine, au revoir Macron,
NATO’s gone—we’re on our own.

No more food, no healthcare plan,
Gotta fund Tesla’s next cyber sedan.

Pols get blown while we get boned,
Forget school lunch and student loans.
Can’t afford to eat today,
But at least the libs won’t get their way.

I bought a Tesla before this happened,
Now everyone calls me fascist.
I wore the hat, I waved the flag,
DOGE took it all—just left the bag.

No bailouts, no more bucks,
Elon shrugged, said “Man, that sucks.”
Got another DOGE email,
Report to Austin, new detail.
No more welfare or social checks,
You’re now enslaved at SpaceX.

Boarding pass to the next frontier,
Musk says, “Great to have you here.”
Took a one-way rocket to Mars,
First shift Monday at the moisture farm.