Episode 603: Valerie Barton, Finding Worth While Single and Childless by Richard Ostler

My friend Valerie Barton (active Latter-day Saint, in her 40s, married for 6 years) bravely shares her story believing her worth and purpose were in being married and having children—and having neither happen for nearly two decades. Valerie talks about things being typical and normal though her youth—but then things becoming more difficult during her 20s as she tried to move forward not being married.

She talks about decided to attend college, receive her endowment and serving a mission—but still struggling with her purpose and value as a single Latter-day Saint and why our can create this in women. Valerie bravely shares the pain of being on her road—in a Church focused on the nuclear family. Valerie shares how she shifted her worth to be on things in her control—to being a daughter of Heavenly Parents and empowerment to chart her own course. If you are a single Latter-day or working to better support single Latter-day Saints, Valerie story and insights will help you. I wish I had heard the things Valerie teaches before my YSA assignment

Valerie also talks about personal revelation to not accept an engagement proposal in her 30’s—even though she wanted to be married sharing insights from Moses 3:17.

Valerie then talks about finding her soulmate Dennis and being married at 39 and 37, respectively.

Valerie then shifts and talks about the challenges of not being able to have children including 5 miscarriages and then a disrupted adoption. Valerie shares things that were helpful and not helpful during these difficult and painful experiences.

Valerie and Dennis were able to adopt and have a 3-year-old daughter.

If you are “always waiting” to feel complete (either later in this life or the next life), Valerie’s story will help you to feel complete now. This is was one of the most helpful stories I’ve heard for those that are single and without children to find peace, hope and value today. And if you are looking to find more peace in your life or have more tools to help others, Valerie’s story will help you.

Thank you for being on the podcast Valerie. You are very brave. On behalf of all our listeners, thank you for being you! You are awesome and your story will help so many!