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TapDaddy Cypher Submission for 060522
Hey Fred, you just missed Edwin.
F: What up Mark? I came right after school...well. And after Power Rangers... Holy crap man, I'm glad you and your families OK. What's been on the agenda
Just in this hospital bed, stressed pondering death/
On how your next mornings never really promised instead/
Optimus said, Focus now while in the present
"Oh Mark that reminds me man, I brought you a present"/
Astrotrain Oh Freddrick, bud, no question its love
You really are the best friend, Second to none
You can be counted on like an index an a thumb/
F: Flipping an abacus, more accurate at adding it up/
So how have you been active man while rehabbing your lungs
Sitting back in this hospital with snack packs by the cup/
"They have Chocolate pudding?" in abundance, I'll brandish you one
Nurse, meanwhile I've Crafting this masterful pun/
Check it, I just wrote the most magnificent Pun
An entered it into a competition, figured I'd won
They wrote a letter back I wasn't picked for the Win
You know what I did next, I went and did it agian/
I wrote a second and third with whim, perfected my Work
Each letter emerged penned clever inert
Spectacular something that the Judges never deserved
The 5th was a prison motif of correctional terms/
What does a warden say when a death sentence is looming
To his crew for an electracution they're prepping the usage
Of The chair, when the prisoner steps in room he says
"This better be perfectly executed" /
(Six)
I was at a town that was so behind where they
Were/
Everyone new all of their own town neighbors
They were so behind the times where they were
I filled out my job app online... Paper
(Seven)
Mom's hire to clean made my rib cage hurt
She wasn't quick to clean she'd enter/exit the Manor
nothing to do with her anerexia, The maids work
Ethic at cleaning was just bare bones by nature/
(Eight)
My cousin Paul used to be in the streets of filth
Taking any floozy home to Netflix and Chill
Now a days he seems in the bible scene for real
I asked him what inspired him in life's meaning still/
He said "Obadiah, Leviticus, Hosea, Ezekiel. (O but I a live it cause, hoe, see a easy kill)
I was inspired by all the prophets that he revered.
(Nine)
Paul then added, do you know what the bible book is called which of that
Is About long suffering, pain, being wronged by the man
I ask which, he said it's called the book of Job, it's a trap...
That was a total of 9 puns. I was hoping to win it
I then had one more pun I wrote that I sent in
Fred Do you know how many jokes I submitted
would win in the paronomasia compitition
F: No? M: No pun in ten did....
F: Man, that's spectacular I didn't see it coming. You even Telegraph it and everything.
Besides bringing you an Astrotrain I also had something I needed to talk to you about...
Im sorry for keeping it from you, but with you almost dying, we really can't spare a second.
M: what is it Fred?
F: While we we're at Colton's house, his parents asked me to look at their taxes, because you know, I'm good with numbers... Then Beneath their cabinet drawer... I... I found your birth certificate.
M: What?
F: Yeah I know. What's odd about it is, it's your name, and social security number...
M: You know my soc security number?
F: what can I say I'm man, good with numbers, but that's besides the point. The year on your birthday was off. The days the same, but it says the year of 1981.
M: What?...
F: All in all this means you and Colton are brothers...
M: Wait a minute, so you mean to tell me... my dog died?
F: My condolences Mark. Copper was a good dog.
M: Good dog, he was but a foot long full of love... What the f(beep).